As I mentioned the other day, I've been feeling incredibly antsy... I can't sit still without feeling like I might explode. I've been trying to figure out what is causing this, and while I don't have one solid answer, I think it's a combination of all the "change" happening or not happening in my life- making me feel anxious.
My younger sister will be getting married soon, my sisters are my best friends and it's hard for me to feel like I'm losing my second sister- in a way. I am trying to build my career, which isn't easy; but it also means that it's time to quit my day job and get serious about this "career"- which is incredibly terrifying. I do feel I've built up a nice portfolio though, I've been working hard for a year, hopefully I can find that "big girl job" I've dreamed of. I'm hoping to move soon, lots of changes are being made in that department, people moving all over the place- it can get overwhelming. Then there's all of the emotions involved- but I won't share that here.
Overall I've been feeling overwhelmed, there have been moments when it takes all of my common sense to not just pack up my car and head... who knows where? So to satisfy that urge to get away- I've been retreating to the hills by my house. There have been moments when I suddenly feel that I might burst, so I grab my shoes and run out the door. I have been climbing as high as I can before the sun gets too low and it's time to head down. I have a goal to hike as high as the trail will let me, but I'll need an entire afternoon for that.
I feel incredibly blessed to live where I do, to have the retreat my body needs- just a few steps from my front door. As I climbed the other day, I paused to rest and take in the scenery. While I stood there, it was absolutely silent... nothing but the wind blowing the leaves every few seconds. I felt like I was finally able to breathe properly. The push and pull of my muscles, the crunch of the dirt under my shoes, the scurry of the animals in the bushes... it's been the best medicine for my anxious soul. My mind is too busy concentrating on the task at hand and the scenery in front of me to think about all of the other things that cause such static in my brain.
Things are working out, slowly but surely. But while they are still sorting themselves out- I've got the hills as my therapist.
What do you do when you feel anxious?