To The Hills

As I mentioned the other day, I've been feeling incredibly antsy... I can't sit still without feeling like I might explode. I've been trying to figure out what is causing this, and while I don't have one solid answer, I think it's a combination of all the "change" happening or not happening in my life- making me feel anxious.

My younger sister will be getting married soon, my sisters are my best friends and it's hard for me to feel like I'm losing my second sister- in a way. I am trying to build my career, which isn't easy; but it also means that it's time to quit my day job and get serious about this "career"- which is incredibly terrifying. I do feel I've built up a nice portfolio though, I've been working hard for a year, hopefully I can find that "big girl job" I've dreamed of. I'm hoping to move soon, lots of changes are being made in that department, people moving all over the place- it can get overwhelming. Then there's all of the emotions involved- but I won't share that here.

Overall I've been feeling overwhelmed, there have been moments when it takes all of my common sense to not just pack up my car and head... who knows where? So to satisfy that urge to get away- I've been retreating to the hills by my house. There have been moments when I suddenly feel that I might burst, so I grab my shoes and run out the door. I have been climbing as high as I can before the sun gets too low and it's time to head down. I have a goal to hike as high as the trail will let me, but I'll need an entire afternoon for that.

I feel incredibly blessed to live where I do, to have the retreat my body needs- just a few steps from my front door. As I climbed the other day, I paused to rest and take in the scenery. While I stood there, it was absolutely silent... nothing but the wind blowing the leaves every few seconds. I felt like I was finally able to breathe properly. The push and pull of my muscles, the crunch of the dirt under my shoes, the scurry of the animals in the bushes... it's been the best medicine for my anxious soul. My mind is too busy concentrating on the task at hand and the scenery in front of me to think about all of the other things that cause such static in my brain.

Things are working out, slowly but surely. But while they are still sorting themselves out- I've got the hills as my therapist.

desert mud
makes me want to sing a line from "Sound of Music"
best sunsets in the world- right here
What do you do when you feel anxious?


Sarah Mc. said...

Change is always scary! Especially with so many unknowns. I like to escape in a good book when I get worried!

Abby Johnson said...

I sit in silence in the nature and think about how everything will work out just fine. Change is scary. I moved to Texas last January and it was an adjustment. I've been in Iowa for the summer with my family so when I go back next week I know I will feel the same way.

Rachel Sayumi ♥ said...

Oh Gentri! I know what you mean. Sometimes things and people change, and you feel left behind. I've felt that way before, many times! Just know that you are definitely progressing, and that God will lead you to what you need in your life :) Love you girl

Rachel Elizabeth said...

Change is terrifying but also brings the best things in life. I am working on building up my portfolio for a "big girl" job too. We can do it! Embrace the potential for everything to be even more amazing.

The Adventurer said...

LOVEEEEEE. I need to come see you. Then we can anxiously romp around TOGETHER.

Joy said...

Wow that is a lot of change. I feel ya, I'm moving apartments, and figuring out career stuff myself, and I've been working 60 hr weeks, and graduating in the fall, and seeing many friends get married. I understand your anxiousness. I listen to music and read my Bible. I try to remember the core important things in life and let go of the thing I can not control. Now I still freak out a lot, lol, but remembering the important aspects is what helps the most, and being with friends. I'm an internal thinker so I tend to over think even small things, being with friends who can put things back in perspective helps! And if all else fails I take a nap lol.

loooopsoflove said...

That last photo is breath-taking!!! Just beautiful!!

My 2 owls

Gaby said...

what an amazing place to live. i always get outside too when i'm feeling anxious, or do some yoga. amazing what some stretching and fresh air can do.

Katie said...

these photos are so stunning. you live in such a beautiful place, Gentri. I know what you mean about feeling like you are going to explode. That has been me for the last 4 months and I am still feeling that overwhelming anxious what is going on kind of feeling - that need to get away and go somewhere. changes are scary and stressful.

I hope the rest of this year is filled with many blessings and beautiful things for you.

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