8.24.2011

Failure to Rant

While I usually try to stick to the happier sides of life and not vent on my blog, I can't help it today. I am incredibly blessed and I shouldn't even complain or wish for something different than I have, because truth is- I have it pretty easy. But today all I want is to be back in Alaska living my vacation.

My sister and her family left this morning to head off to their new home in Missouri and I started a new job. Both of those things are wonderful, yet both are bringing tears to my eyes. I didn't get to hug my nephew goodbye and I was rushing out the door so I barely had time to hug my sister and nieces. I am terrible at starting new jobs (ok, I'm actually pretty good. I pick up quickly and retain information well) because I stress way too much and I hate getting in trouble. I am also having a serious battle in my head right now about calling my old job and seeing if they'd need me back... just so I don't have to start a new one. I was incredibly lucky with that job as well. PLUS if I had it my way, I wouldn't work. I'd stay home, go on adventures, and work on projects all day long. See?! I'm ridiculous!

The minute I started driving home today I turned on the music I'd listened to the most while in Alaska. I couldn't help but dream that I was back there now, or dream of packing up and heading that way. I should have waited to get a job and headed off to Missouri with my sister and her family. But I didn't. I made the smart decision instead. Go me.

So now that that is all out, my tears have stopped flowing and hopefully that's all I needed (doubt it). I didn't take one minute for granted in Alaska- except for the little time I spent stressing about the future. If I could do it over again (oh how I WISH I could!) I wouldn't stress one bit. But there's no point in thinking about what could have been done. I am glad that I was able to enjoy it so much and have such an amazing experience. I hope and pray that one day I'll be able to do it all over again. :)

What was the point of this post? To calm me down mostly. I stress over everything (obviously) and had to let it out. If you're thinking that I'm absolutely ridiculous right now, you're right. But do not worry, this is not the worst of my trials and worries in life. But trust me, you don't want to get into that. I thought this little bit would be safe to share and help me get over it. If you actually read all of this, thank you! You're amazing! If you didn't, eh, I don't blame you. Who wants to read the rants of a spoiled girl?

Want to know what else made it so I really have no right to rant?? Today I won a GIVEAWAY. Yep. And I am so excited about it! Yet I'm still trying to complain. Boy was this an unsuccessful post. That's ok. I don't care, because I feel better.

Oh, and if you care- my first day of work went really well. It was training day so it was very overwhelming. That's probably where this post came from. And I'm super nervous for tomorrow. But no, I'm not going to tell you where I work, because that's creepy. :)

Ok, promise this post is over. What a ridiculous post. And I just used the work "ridiculous" for a 3rd time in one post. It's all I've got. My brain's full. Have a great night everyone! haha!

OH! One more thing- promise. If I am a terrible comment-er from now for the next who knows how long? Blame my job. :(

22 comments

Katie said...

I don't think you're absolutely ridiculous; I think you're normal :) We all feel like that sometimes.

Katie said...

Change is so hard for me to! Good luck at the new job!

Rachel said...

I have freaked out just like you at many points in my life! Recently, I've started saying to myself, "I made the decision and its okay." Its really helped my stress level a ton. Oh, and I also wish I could have been in musicals w/ Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers and Judy Garland too! Love those classic movies.

Che said...

I completely understand how you feel! I'm going through similar-ish things. I recently moved to Houston from Austin to finish college at a a public university instead of private and not go into debt really really bad. Anyways...I miss Austin soo bad! I miss my old job that I had there, I miss my friends, I miss how I acted there, how I thought. I dont like being in a place where I have no friends and starting at a new school and a new job too :[ It sucks being an adult sometimes.

Megan said...

First of all, congratulations on your new job! That is very exciting news.

Please don't feel ridiculous! I do not think that at all. I am the same way you are; I stress about everything.

While I didn't change jobs, this week I got some new responsibilities at my existing job and I've already had a migraine because of it. I've been crying and missing home (California) so much. My sister and nephew are visiting my parents there and they keep calling me letting me know what they're up to. I'm so jealous and upset that I can't be there :(

Take it easy and take it one day at a time. It will get easier, and there will be days like this. Just know that when there are days like this you can always rant here... and I will never stop reading halfway!!

Laura Elizabeth said...

You have had to read my 283947289 rants on my blog, so if I have to read only one of your rants, then I think we're even :) I totally know your fear about starting new jobs, stick with it. Things can only get better, right?!?!

PS The word I had to type in to comment was 'stiong', which is totally a reference to strong. Stay strong girl!!!

simply megan. said...

I totally understand where your coming from!!! Just today I was missing Tennessee like crazy and thinking I would do anything to go back right now!

Emma Frances said...

Everyone needs a rant day. And in the blog world it's nice to HEAR that everyone else's lives aren't perfect even though we really do know that anyway. But you are awesome and I love reading your blog. Even when you have to get some ranting out. Good luck with your new job!!

Sara Shoemaker said...

that's partly what blogs are for dear! to rant and spill word vomit all over blogland :) It really does make one feel better to vent and cry. So good job :) congrats on your new job! first day is always the hardest. I almost always cry after my first day on a new job. I'm sorry you miss Alaska so much, hopefully you can go back soon! xoxo

Julie A. said...

This previous job you're thinking of going back to isn't DL, is it???? I hope your new job goes well for you though...

meag @ may contain nutz said...

Hey lady!!

Keep your head up! Good things come to good people! I'm glad you won the giveaway today though :) see good things do happen!

Cheer up buttercup!
Xo

brooke field said...

Oh, life!

Pia said...

I am so sorry to hear that you felt so miserable yesterday! I really hope you are feeling a lot better today! Hugs!

Claire said...

oh dear! we all have days that we need a rant, this is why blogs are so great, cos we're all here to listen :)x

Bree said...

It's nice to know I'm not the only super stresser who gets all worried about new jobs! Hope everything starts to feel better!! I hate days like these!

Alexis Kaye said...

okay I totally had one of these posts on Tuesday. I'm so sorry you're stressed. I HATE hate hate starting new jobs too! It's ridiculous. I wish you the best with all the future has in store!

Ashley {hudson's happenings} said...

:( Everybody needs to vent sometimes, girl. Things always look better after you've gotten a good sleep and the sun is shining. ;)

I am so sad your having a stinky day, and I hope you are able to stop worrying soon!! You will be AWESOME at your new job, I JUST KNOW IT!!

Kristy Lynn said...

A of all: you're not ridiculous.

B of all: you aren't alone. starting a new job is one of THE most stressful things to go through. you don't know anything or anyone, the old is familiar even if it is a dead end, etc...

C of all: I finish at my job today and start a new one on Tuesday too.... let's send each other warming, happy, successful thoughts. we'll be okay, because we have to be. period.

D of all (as an after thought): it's just a job. a way to make money to participate in a ridiculous and manufactured system (the economy). it isn't life or death. just a job. So be calm.

Courtney B said...

Oh girl, I am SO sorry you were feeling so down :( But it's totally normal to feel like this, so don't worry! You'll get into the swing of things and it will all start to feel normal. And HOPEFULLY you get vacation time with your new job :)
But I'm so glad your first day went well!

Ashley Sloan said...

What is your new job?! Yeah I know how that goes. I HATE starting new jobs because I HATE asking to make sure I do things right because I am a perfectionist and too stress about a lot and always :) So it sounds like we are the same person...in a lot of aspects lol. :) And the point of not stressing, a struggle I always deal with! If you find the cure tell me haha. I am always so uptight and it hurts my muscles too :)

Ashley from Sloanbook

Lauren said...

Congratulations on your new job! I hope you settle in and find it both challenging and rewarding. :)

And I hope that everything else works out, too. I'm sorry everything is stressful; but you'll get through it!

Anita Komma said...

you will be fabulous at your new job (wherever it is) and families are eternal for good reasons! forever makes far away seem a little more manageable. :) good luck pretty lady!

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